Complain...complain...

The Complaints Choir (http://www.complaintschoir.org/news.html) is a pretty interesting project started in Helsinki. People come together to discuss the complaints they have about their country and put it to song. It is now a universal phenomenon with a number of Complaints Choirs around the world.

Singapore's Complaints Choir was supposed to perform for the M1 fringe festival but it became a private performance because the MDA said that the choir will be singing about local domestic affairs so foreigners should not be allowed to perform with the choir.

Response from the founders of the choir? They were 'disappointed that our prejudices against Singapore have been affirmed...We see the symptoms of a neurotic society. We find it irritating that foreigners - people that built this city, nurse Singaporean kids and bring in their knowledge - are not allowed to complain.'

Anyway, it seems that Singaporeans are really rather good at complaining, because the participants produced about 1000 complaints in 10min - a world record!

You can watch the video of the choir here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0ZY4Bn6q2s
Here are the lyrics, the sound quality is not very good so you have to read the lyrics to understand what they are singing about. As you watch the video, try to identify the typical Singaporean - very obviously rigid and slightly uncomfortable!:

We get fined for almost everything
Drivers won’t ‘give chance’ when you want to ‘change lane’
The indoors are cold, the outdoors are hot;
And the humid air, it wrecks my hair
Those answering machines always make you hold
Only to hang up on you
When a pregnant lady gets on the train
Everyone pretends to be asleep
I’m stuck with my parents till I’m 35
Cause I can’t apply for HDB
We don’t recycle any plastic bags
But we purify our pee
*chorus:
What’s wrong with Singapore?
Losing always makes me feel so sore
Cause if you’re not the best
Then you’re just one of the rest
My oh my Singapore
What exactly are we voting for?
What’s not expressly permitted is prohibited
“Ooh”
When I’m hungry at the food court, I see
People ‘chope’ seats with their tissue paper
To the aunty staying upstairs:
Your laundry’s dripping on my bed sheets
Please don’t squat on the toilet seats
And don’t clip your nails on MRT
Stray cats get into noisy affairs
At night my neighbor makes weird animal sounds
People put on fake accents to sound posh
And queue up 3 hours for donuts
Will I ever live till eighty fiveto collect my CPF?
*chorus
Singaporeans too kiasu! (so scared to lose)
Singaporeans too kiasi! (so scared o die)
Singaporeans too kiabor!(scared of their wives)
Maybe we’re just too stressed out! (even the kids)
“Ooh”
Old National Library was replaced by an ugly tunnel
Singaporean men can’t take independent women
People blow their nose into the swimming pool
And fall asleep on my shoulder in the train
Singapore’s national bird is the crane (the one with yellow steel girders)
Real estate agents’ leaflets clogging up my mailbox (en bloc, en bloc; en bloc, en bloc)
Why can’t we be buried when we die?
No one wants to climb Bukit Timah with me
*chorus
"Ooh”
There are not enough public holidays
My neighbor sings KTV all night
Wedding dinners never start on time
My hair is always cut shorter than I want
Channel 5 commercials are way too long
Why do men turn bad?
*At first it was to speak more mandarin
Then it was to speak proper English
What’s wrong with my powderful Singlish?
People sit down during rock concerts
We have to pay for tap water at restaurants
ERP gantries are everywhere
But I can still see traffic jams on the road
All the bus stops have tilted benches to keep you off balance
*chorus

Do you agree with these complaints?

You can also watch Complaints Choir of other countries. The ones from non-English speaking countries have subtitles so you can understand what they are complaining about. It's a pretty interesting way to understand the cultures of these countries. Listen to the one from Helsinki, it's pretty funny when they sing about annoying ringtones to the tune of the all familiar Nokia ringtone (Nokia comes from Finland, whose capital is Helsinki) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ATXV3DzKv68