last day...

Finally, my official last day in Nanyang.

Have been in NY for 4 years...at times I feel that I've been there forever, but the vivid memories of my first few weeks are a reminder that I'm not as "experienced" as I appear to be...I remember the trepidation of getting to know new colleagues, preparing to go into my first class, marking my first compre (and struggling to figure out what the kids were attempting to paraphrase), trying to figure out what the horror AQ was all about...

It's certainly amazing how time flies. I've been indeed blessed to be posted into NY, because it's certainly a very good place to work in. I remember walking into my first class and thinking that the kids will be grouchy and reticent...but they were surprisingly enthusiastic and friendly, much easier to talk to than the secondary school kids I had during practicum. Of course, the 06-07 batch also proved that there are many very hardworking, teachable and fun students in NY :) I did complain quite a bit about this batch but I guess much of it had to do with the restlessness I was experiencing, pretty unfair to blame them for it. At the very least, they have spared me the horrors that I hear from friends teaching in secondary school. 3 batches, every one different, but each one has brought certain joys that have enabled me to survive in my teaching career till now.
But the best part about working in NY are my fellow teachers. I never thought I'll make such good friends and have so much fun with my colleagues - the mad capers we were always up to in the staff room, the tricks we've pulled on each other, the mandatory breakfasts and lunches together, the marking holidays we've had together....these are the people who made it difficult to leave the school.

Many people ask why I'm leaving, especially at a time when everything seems to be going well. I guess it's time for me to explore the 'what could have been' if I hadn't taken up teaching, and to satisfy my wanderlust. I need to force myself out of my comfort zone before I get too old to be adventurous.

Also, I guess the perfectionist in me can't quite ignore the fact that I'm not as good a teacher as I hope to be. I thought I came into this line a realist and a cynic, but I realise that I'm in fact still very much an idealist. I still came in to do the very cliched 'touch lives and change hearts' but for a person who is not a natural teacher, it was emotionally draining, taking very much more effort than expected, yet, not yielding as much result as hoped for. Guess I need to teach people whom I can be more detached about, and also not have to juggle "developing every student holistically" with preparations for exams.

Not sure how the future will pan out and what God's plan for me is, whether I'll remain in education or explore a whole new career. Hopefully there will be chances to try something meaningful in a developing country. Well, the next chapter is a blank page waiting to be written....I shall wait, pray and see what this new chapter will be....

*The closing of just one chapter of my life*